The last two weeks (Reader disgression is advised)

I found out that I was pregnant with baby number three on Friday, March 18th with my friend/old room mate Jessica at their beach house in Portland.  It didn't take us long to get pregnant, just as it didn't take long with the first two.  This time around, the pregnancy test was digital, and that was fun.  PREGNANT it read.  Yeah!

Fast forward to April 15th.  Ultra sound day.  The day when you get to hear your babies heart beat.  Chris and I chatted with the nurse while she took my blood pressure and caught up with what we had been up to.  The doctor comes in, and I must say, I think she is great.  We were still pretty early on, so we had a vaginal ultra sound.  Long story short, our little baby didn't have a heart beat.  We were shocked to say the least. None of my sisters or my mother had ever experienced a miscarriage.  That's 15 babies, no problems.  Chris asked her again, as if he had misheard.  I broke down.  Naturally.  She checked the size of my ovaries and then let me get dressed and let us think about it and talk about it for a while.  Again, I have to say that I love my nurse and doctor.  They have been amazing.

When she came back in, she talked about our options.  One option being a D&C, which is a surgery, under anesthesia-knocked out, or it my body didn't naturally pass the lining, I could be induced with medicine.   I chose to let things happen naturally.  There are always risks with surgery, and I just felt like my body would know what it was supposed to do.  This all happened on a Friday.  So, I went and had blood tested. They were checking to see that my hormones were now dropping, as they should.  Then I had to go back 2 days later to have them tested again.  They were higher, thus not doing what they 'should' be doing.  Great.  So I went in 2 days later again, and they were lower than that first day.  The next day, I met with a midwife to get some herbs to help things along naturally.  Red Raspberry leaf, Angelica and Shepard's purse.  Don't worry, I'm not a hippy, but lots of women in Montana have natural child birth at home and treat with oils.  I am warming up to the idea.  It's taken me three years to try.  Anyway, the next day Chris' parents came up a week early to help out with the kids.  They were coming up for Chris' graduation, so it had been a great blessing to have them here.  knowing the kids always have someone around is comforting.  So I tried the herbs over the weekend, but was still feeling a little yucky, nauseous, and tired of waiting.  BTW, we had what is called a missed miscarriage, and basically the body doesn't or hasn't recognize that the baby is no longer alive and hasn't passed it out yet.  So, some women find out they have miscarried because they start bleeding, but some of us, like in our case, get to know what is coming by having the ultra sound and finding out that way.

Chris and I decided that I would start the medicine on Monday afternoon, to help get things going.  Not much happened.  Called the nurse Tuesday, they prescribed me two more doses.  Wednesday morning stuff started to happen.  They had warned of diarrhea and nausea, none of which I experience.  But she did prescribe me Vicadin that very first day.  I have only used 2 pills in the two weeks, but Ibuprofen has been a good friend.  I will spare the details, but let me say, it is AMAZING what a pregnant uterus can do in a short time.  The next Friday, at my second ultra sound, my doc said the amount of 'stuff' inside was impressive.  I will leave it at that.  However, she did inform me that there was a lot of tissue still inside.  Disappointed again.  a LOT had come out already.  I tried to keep a stiff upper lip, but broke down again in front of my doctor.  How could there be more in there?  So, at this point I called Chris and told him I just wanted to have the surgery.  I didn't know if I could do another week.  He supported me and I scheduled it for later that day.  As I was walking out to hand the receptionist my pink paper to report to insurance, I passed something substantial.  So I waddled to the bathroom and wondered if I should called the doc and have her look at it.  I went back and forth, but figured I was just outside the office in the bathroom, so I got myself together and walked back in.  She did want to see me again, and did another ultra sound.  Most of it was gone!!!  I was like a miracle.  I saw the screen both times and it was gone.  She said, "if I were you, I would do one more round of medicine and I think you will be done."  So, we ditched the surgery and I went home.  The next day, which was yesterday, we all went to Helena, the state capital of Montana. We had gorgeous weather, and it was about an 1 1/2 hour drive.  Well, the kids did great because they had Gaga back there feeding them snacks!  I was uncomfortable on the drive there, and as soon as I stood up, more 'stuff' exited we'll say.  I excused myself to the bathroom and freshened up.  We visited a children's museum and an indoor carousel right next door.  Since yesterday morning I have felt great and think perhaps we are over the hump.

I know that is probably TMI for some people, but it's my story.  I have been so blessed to have wonderful friends who have brought dinners, taken the kids, called and checked up on me, etc.  Some have experienced miscarriage(s) and some have not, but they have been a great support.  I love them for it and hope I can be a shoulder to cry on for them.  Chris' parents have been great, even though we have been house bound because of nasty weather.  But I couldn't have made it this last week without them.

Before our first ultra sound, Chris has commented about how it seems too easy for us to have kids. We talk about it, we get pregnant.  We have been blessed with two beautiful kids and we have grown as a family because of this experience.  Naturally, I am gun shy about trying to get pregnant again.  I hope to never experience this again.  But we will try again, and we will support each other, no matter what happens.  So, that's been my last two weeks, and we look forward to my parents coming at the end of the week, and Chris' graduation!